Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
