Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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