My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
