is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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