just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
