Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My liver just had a heart attack.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
