i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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