dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
my poor anus
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
