She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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