Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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