apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
