What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
