So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
