I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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