just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
