You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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