Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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