I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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