I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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