I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
COCAINE IS GR8
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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