I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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