Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
