On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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