How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
