he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
