Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
