Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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