is your mom at the bar?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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