hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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