Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
