they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
