i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
