you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
