Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
