question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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