went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
