Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
