idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
