SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
