i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
