you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize
