I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
