Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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