she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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