I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
