I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
