Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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