the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
