I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
