I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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