i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
